It is not easy being a girl, not in Italy, not in 2017. I am not talking about work or society. I am writing about love and respect for ourselves.
I am a journalist, I have a masters degree, I play cello, I write books for children and I love hiking. I spent ten years of my life with a “man” who told me every day that I wasn’t enough. All success that I achieved, in his opinion, was luck. He told me that I was beautiful or important only when we slept together. He lied to me, he hit me and every time it was my fault. He used to say “You are too determined, you want too much, you have too much purpose, where do you think you are you going? Who do you think you are?”. He is the kind of person with no perspective for the future. Stoned every day, selfish, angry but smart. So smart that he manipulated me and the crazy fact is that I believed him. I started to think that without him I wasn’t able to anything.
The power that a man can use is frightening but the strength that a girl can have is unlimited. It took three years to decide to break up with him and after that it wasn’t easy at all. I felt lost because I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I was so deeply involved in this relationship that I lost myself. For me, only he mattered. His wishes and his pleasure were the only things that I cared about. I didn’t understand that, that kind of relationship is not called love but addiction.
In the last two years I have learnt that love is different. I have met a lot of extraordinary people. Friends that inspire me and support me with all my projects. Being alone is sometimes scary but it is better that living in a prison with someone that doesn’t respect you as a woman and girlfriend.
I wrote my story for all the girls and women out there. You need to open your eyes. If you feel sad, if you are always fighting with your man, if he is always criticizing you telling you that you are crazy, if you think only about him but not about youself, believe me there is something wrong. I was blind like you because seeing the truth is the hardest thing when you are living in a sad dream.
Unfortunately, I see a lot of girls and women in the same situation. One day one of them told me “My boyfriend wants to move in to a house. “I don’t feel happy about it, I don’t know why, I am scared. We fight all the time, he says that I’m too jealous, I feel sad all the time and I am not sure that this is the life that I want but he wants it so much. He wants to build a rehearsal studio for his band, music will always come before me no matter what”.
After one month she decided to move with him and I was shocked. She is amazing and talented. The kind of girl with a brilliant future in front of her. Why is she choosing this guy? I don’t know, sometimes I think that this society is the problem. If you are a girl you need a man and if you don’t have a man you are incomplete. Here in Italy, unfortunately, the idea that being a girl means being weak it is still prevalent.
Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Every time I hear about a girl that reports her boyfriend because of violence, when I listen to stories about women that decide to end a sick relationship, when I read about someone that fights every day for her respect I am SO PROUD to be a girl with the strength to say NOT ANYMORE.
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I am Marika Zorzi, this is my blog. I love writing about music, people, travels, art and everything that it is around me.